The Bright Side: Finding Joy (and Calm) During the Holidays With Neurodivergent Kids
The holidays can be such a magical time—twinkling lights, cozy traditions, and moments full of laughter and wonder. And honestly? They can be especially fun with neurodivergent kids. Their excitement, curiosity, and unique ways of experiencing the world often bring a special kind of joy that reminds us to slow down and appreciate the little things.
At the same time, it’s normal for parents to notice that the season can feel… like a lot. More people, more noise, and changes in routine can add up quickly, even when everyone’s intentions are good. If your child seems more withdrawn, emotional, or easily overwhelmed during this time of year, you’re not alone—and there’s nothing “wrong” with them or your parenting.
In this Bright Side reflection, we’ll explore why the holidays can feel overwhelming for some neurodivergent children—and share gentle ways to support them while protecting joy and honoring who they are.
Why the Holidays Can Feel Overwhelming
Holidays often ask a lot of kids, especially autistic and neurodivergent children, even when the activities are meant to be fun.
During this season, children are navigating:
Changes to routines and sleep schedules
Increased social interaction and unspoken social rules
Louder, busier environments
Big emotions—both excitement and disappointment
Higher expectations to “perform” socially
For many neurodivergent kids, this isn’t about being inflexible or oppositional. It’s about cognitive and emotional load. Their brains are working overtime to process what’s happening, regulate emotions, and figure out what’s expected of them—all at once.
Reframing What We See
One of the most helpful shifts parents can make during the holidays is reframing behaviors that are often misunderstood:
Pulling away may be a need for regulation, not rudeness
Big emotions may be a sign of overload, not defiance
Wanting to be alone may be a form of self-awareness, not avoidance
When we view these responses through a neurodevelopmental lens, we can respond with more compassion—and less pressure on everyone involved.
Supporting Your Child Without “Fixing” Them
Support during the holidays doesn’t have to mean managing every moment or preventing all distress. Often, it’s about creating enough safety and flexibility for your child to enjoy the parts that matter most to them.
A few gentle supports that many families find helpful:
Preview what’s coming (who will be there, what the space will be like, when you’ll leave)
Shorten social time rather than pushing through exhaustion
Build in recovery time before and after events
Let go of expectations that don’t serve your child or your family
Redefine success—connection over compliance
A “successful” holiday doesn’t mean your child participates in everything. It means they feel safe, respected, and supported enough to experience joy in their own way.
The Bright Side
Neurodivergent kids often remind us what the holidays are really about—authentic joy, meaningful connection, and being accepted as we are. When we slow down and meet them where they are, we often find that the season feels lighter for everyone.
At Bright Futures Neurodevelopment, we believe in building on strengths, honoring differences, and supporting families through both the joyful and challenging moments. Holidays included.
Warmly,
Kandice Benallie, PhD
Founder & Psychologist
Bright Futures Neurodevelopment
